Article Autism Discrimination In the News Parenting

Autism v Aspergers – And the Keith Duffys of the World

You really do have to find the description of STUPID in the dictionary, next to the name KEITH DUFFY.

If you read the recent Daily Mail headline of his comment about mums of autistic kids to “stop mourning” and to “start embracing” their autistic child, I mean seriously, the guy is  fuckhead. But for the article heading, I went with the toned down “dickhead”. But really, he’s a fuckhead.

This is QUOTE what he said:

‘One of the most important steps for a parent of a child with autism is to stop mourning the child that they thought they had and and start embracing the child that they have.’ 

To be fair, he is not saying “moaning”- he is saying “mourning”.

I know what he means, stop being sad at what you kid would be without autism, and embrace who they are with autism.

Sounds nice doesn’t it.

But it just BLEEDS stupidity.

To be fair this is his journey with the condition (of his daughter) and he implies people sit around “mourning” the child they thought they should of had.

And maybe people do that for a little while, I’m not sure.

I didn’t.

But his point is don’t do that, just focus on the beauty of the child in front of you now.

This is a great message, but greatly demeans parents who do have trouble with the afflicted child.

Lack of community support.

Lack of school acceptance.

Lack of financial aid.

and so on.

Keith’s family, and life, appears wonderful – Good for him.

Lovely son who works to raise awareness of autism, and his wife looks a dream!

I’m thinking “lucky Keith”. But of course, its not going to be that simple…

If you read the whole article, to his defence, I think he may be “trying” to be positive about his joy with his own autistic child. Mia.

He actually says QUOTE:

‘Every day you have a realisation that you’re going to have a child with a lifelong disability is absolutely horrifying,’ he said.

‘Every day you have a realisation that you’re going to have a child with a lifelong disability is absolutely horrifying. It’s so frustrating, horrifying, upsetting. But you have to try and find the positive.’ 

Um, “every day”?

I don’t think that “every day”.

Maybe this interview was more about his inability to cope than others, and in his infinite wisdom he has deflected the true “sufferer” (himself) onto other parents, who actually do cope.

(ABOVE:  BY THE WAY – Mia looks beautiful, and Keith certainly does look like a very loved dad – so kudos to him for that)

I might point out here, that Mia is (wait for it) “Aspergers”!!!

And YES – Aspergers sucks.

Keith stated it wasn’t until age 7 she started to talk.

That’s amazing.

I know all about Aspergers, and how it is a very misunderstood condition.

Truly is different for every person.

I have this opinion that doctors say “hmmm there is something wrong with you, I’m not sure what, but I’m going to diagnose it as Autism”.

“AUTISM = The too hard to diagnose basket”

My son is diagnosed Aspergers, and he has his annoying quirks.


A kid who for 3 years would not let anyone leave the house with clapping their hands in a particular way first (routine focused).

A kid who hears a loud noise and acts like he has been shot by a gun (sensory issues).

A kid when touched acts like you punched him (sensory issues).

A kid that complains constantly complains he should stay home from school and relax (laziness issues!!)


Here’s the thing, he didn’t just say “Aspergers” kid’s mums to stop moaning…

He said “Autistic”. 

So now, now he goes into the world of true grit, substance and resilience.

Having a child with full blown autism, not just “a social disorder” like Aspergers – When discussing autism, you are going into the world of real uncertainty, stress and madness.

Not order.

Not normal.

Not controllable.

(ABOVE:  My son Liam yesterday at Mothers Day afternoon tea 2017)

My son, with Aspergers, has always been “challenging” with his quirky ways.

All the things I listed above, they are examples (in italics).

But my daughter, Rosie, has been the most tremendous joyous thing in our life, beyond our ability to dream of, and for the most part, her autism is related to that in some way.

Of course we don’t wish it on her.


But what I mean is we can see past the bad parts of autism, and see the positives of a life with an autistic child.

We don’t need Sir Keith to remind us.

Does he think we don’t have a brain?

Here are some of the joys our daughter brings to our lives every day: (REMEMBER these are for us, and not necessarily the next child with autism)

  • She smiles all the time
  • She likes to make you happy
  • She loves to learn new things
  • She is optimistic
  • She is forgiving
  • She is loving
  • She is a good learner
  • She will always be in our care
  • She will never be a trashy wayward person
  • She won’t get into debt
  • She won’t smash a car into the fence
  • and so on

The real question that I live with is this:

Will she understand she is missing out on?


  • Love from a man (woman??)
  • Buying a car or a house
  • Becoming a valued employee
  • Driving a car
  • Getting her own credit card

Will she be aware?

Unlike Aspergers people, who can achieve the above.

That is the $200M question.

Who knows?

I’ll tell you in 30 years – stay tuned.

(ABOVE: MY Rosie at our Mothers Day afternoon tea yesterday 2017)


I’m glad he sees the joy of his daughter Mia who is coming along very well with Aspergers.

A child who will achieve what we will all achieve, excpet she may be a bit shy on occasions throughout life.

She may even have other minor challenges, like my son has, but over all, she will go on to:

  • Own a home
  • Fall in love
  • Get married
  • Have a baby
  • Have lots of babies
  • Have grandkids
  • Have a career
  • Shop
  • Accrue debt
  • Buy a house
  • Drive a car
  • Live on a boat (if she wants)

All of the things my daughter won’t.

And if I want to mourn THAT – I will thanks.


I knew his article would get a mixed reaction, mostly bagging him out.

Here’s some comments, I’ll leave you with them, but so far, within a week, the article has over 670 comments.

It certainly got a reaction – wouldn’t the Daily Mail just LUUUURVE that!



ALL Quotes & Images of Keith for this article were found on the original Daily Mail article found here:\


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